My New Year's Eve

4 days gone, 361 more to go!

So here we are standing in another New Year! Does this sound familiar? Was it not what we said an year back, and also 2 years back, and 3, 4, 6, 7...?

Holding our parents finger to cross the road while going to school, playing baraf paaneee, chupan chupaee, thalam thalee, cycling, monopoly, cards and what not? Remember? Wasnt that just something you did yesterday? I so badly wish I can have those times back... But no one can! And im not an exception... Those times have their importance just because you can not have them back, you can remember them and learn the importance of making the fullest of the time you have.

Dear, time doesnt stop... it moves on, and so should you and me!

I see everyone commiting themselves to another "New Year Resolution", new hopes, new challenges and newer motives... But what about the resolutions we have previosuly been making since we recognized the word "resolution"? New Year resolutions now tend to be a never ending while(true) loop!

This new year's eve, was somehow a special one for me. Not because it was new year, and no not beause it was the launching of my first product but because I did something I had been wanting to do so badly for a long time... The New Year night I got sometime for my self to just sit and think and talk to my self... I had been missing this for a long time!

Just as the aerial firing started I realized that the clock had made the final tick of the year... I made one last check on the VergeSMS site to see if everything was moving as planned and then just laid down to do some chatting with myself... All of a sudden I realized I had grown older than I thought and I recalled Harun Yahya's video in which he discussed aging...

And now as the firing continued, this year instead of crafting another New Year Resolution I asked my self a few questions...

"What was it that I did that I should not have done...?"
"What were the mistakes I made that shouldnt be repeated?"
"How many people did I hurt? Did I say sorry?"
"How many people helped me? Did I say thankyou?"
"How many people influenced me to be where I am, was I thankful?"
"How many times did I forget to tell my loved ones how much I loved them..."
Above all
"How many prayers did I miss, how many times did I forget to say sorry to God?"

I started with remembering the wrongs, and they came like the speedy counter at a petrol pump 1, 2, 3...... and it kept on going... I could see so much of wrong in my self that I started to feel disgraced...

I had failed in a lot of things... I started counting them. religion, family, love, career, friends, trust, studies, enjoyment, reading, writing, understanding, helping, teaching, observing, learning, listening, speaking, spelling and so much more! But I think I had reckoned my failures and wanted to improve on them... I knew that I woudlnt get a second chance at more than half the standings of my past, however I decided to color the second half to make my life a little less miserable...

And there I was, with this huge list of things to do and not to do.... I could now feel the faults in my self, and now I wanted to improve upon them...

It was 3:00 am and I reckoned that the firing had stopped... I did not commit my self of any new commitments for the future, but only not to do the wrongs of the past...

I have walked on this path for a long time now, I dont want to turn left, I dont want to turn right, neither do I want to stop nor do I want to look back.... I want to keep on moving doing the right of what was left wrong behind me.... God help me!